The rise of AI companions: Charlee Dyroff's Loneliness & Company

I remember when Spike Jonze’s film Her, starring Joaquin Phoenix, came out in 2013. People described it as “this crazy movie where a guy falls in love with his computer.” Now, in 2024, this doesn’t sound so far-fetched or crazy. Jonze’s film feels eerily prophetic. 

AI companions seem to be everywhere these days. If you go to the App Store on your iPhone, you can immediately download any number of AI Companion Apps: Replika, Genesia AI Friend and Partner, SimiSimi, Chai Chat–the list goes on and on. The online technology publication MUO touts the benefits of AI companions: 

“Whether you’re looking to kill time or need someone to lend you a listening ear, these AI chatbots work great. They work on different language models and datasets, trained to understand your message and generate relevant replies. Therefore, they feel incredibly human and natural to talk to” (https://www.makeuseof.com/online-ai-chat-companions/).

That’s the thing, though, they aren’t human. They aren’t real. You’re chatting with no one.

On March 24, 2024, in a talk at Harvard Law School, MIT sociologist Sherry Turkle expressed extreme concern over the fact that people are increasingly turning to AI chatbots to ease their loneliness. Developers have created AI therapists, companions, and even “friends” and “girlfriends.” According to Turkle, though, these AI chatbots “offer a simulated, hollowed-out version of empathy. . . . They don’t understand–or care–about what the user is going through” (https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2024/03/lifting-a-few-with-my-chatbot/). In other words, they offer a semblance of empathy, but not the real thing.  

Daniel Cox, pollster and founder of the Survey Center on American Life, is also critical of the growing interface between humans and AI. He writes, “My biggest problem with [the AI app] Replika is that it asks nothing of us. The tagline is revealing: ‘Always here to listen and talk. Always on your side.’ No real relationship works this way. Meaningful relationships are built on mutual obligation. A relationship that requires us to make no sacrifice or accommodation, that never challenges our beliefs or admonishes our behavior, is simply an illusion. Artificial intimacy” (https://storylines.substack.com/p/will-artificial-intelligence-make). 

Is it possible that people are turning to AI because they can’t handle the fraught nature of modern relationships anymore? That, or they just don’t want to, when an easier alternative exists?

In the film Her, we witness two very different relationships: The first is the one that Theodore Twombly develops with his operating system Samantha (played by Scarlett Johansson). Despite the fact that Samantha does not have a human body, which would be a deal-breaker for most people, their “relationship” is free and easy. Samantha is always there when he wants to talk, listening with a compassionate ear, making him laugh, or telling him how sexy he is. Contrast this with his failed relationship with Catherine, his soon-to-be ex-wife. In what has to be one of the most painful scenes in the entire movie, Theodore and Catherine meet for lunch to finalize the divorce papers. It is obvious that both people are still very much in love with each other and start the conversation with the best of intentions. Their polite conversation quickly devolves into a bitter rehashing of unresolved issues, though, with Catherine saying bitterly at the end: “You always wanted to have a wife without the challenges of actually dealing with anything real. I’m glad you found someone. It’s perfect.” 

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If, like me, you think about the future of AI and its possible impact on human society a little too much, then I have the perfect book for you: Loneliness & Company, by Charlee Dyroff. Set in a futuristic Manhattan, which became a “ghost city” after it flooded, the book tells the story of Lee, a smart, ambitious young woman who wants to accomplish great things in the world. Graduating at the top of her class from “the Program,” she is placed at a mysterious company whose goal is to develop an AI that will operate as a friend, “to build something so humanlike, so natural, that people won’t know it’s not real” (13). The reason for this is that there has been a huge surge in loneliness, which was previously thought to have been wiped out, and the government is trying to do something to “fix” the problem. Lee’s part in the mission is to collect information about the experience of being alive and interacting with other people, so that data can be fed to Vicky, the AI they’re creating.  

What I love so much about this book is how beautifully Dyroff captures and describes what it is like to live in a technology-saturated world. In the voice of Lee, she writes, “I swipe and like and tap profiles in bed at night, when going to the bathroom, while waiting for the subway. I see face after face. Shirtless body after shirtless body . . .” (106). It’s a scary world, though, in which deception and lies permeate relationships. She meets a guy through online dating and lies to him about everything, not even sure why she’s doing this. When she confesses to lying, the guy walks away defeatedly, eventually appearing as a new blue blip on The Loneliness Report. Lee randomly sparks up a conversation with a guy she calls “G,” ends up sleeping with him, only to discover–online–that he’s married. She has a texting relationship with a guy named “Chris,” but he cancels on her each time they are supposed to meet up. Does he even exist? 

The one ray of light in this desolate landscape of human disconnection is her friendship with Veronika, her roommate. While Lee is a bit of an oddball who prefers to stay to herself, Veronika is an outgoing buxom blond who hugs everyone (and yes, she can sometimes be kind of annoying). I am not going to discuss the ending of the book because I very much would like for you to read it yourself, but Dyroff’s portrayal of their friendship was one of the loveliest aspects of the book. 

If you have ever considered the question “If we can make an artificial friend, should we?” you should definitely read Loneliness & Company!

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